just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
