I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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