He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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