everyone is single if you try hard enough
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You have to summon your inner elephant
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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