just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
