Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
