My balls are so social today.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
