i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
