There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
