So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
