She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
