I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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