You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
