Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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