Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
