hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
