Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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