Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
