Walk of Shame. In a state park.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
