I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
