OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
