How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
