Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
