respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
sarcasm needs its own font
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize