Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
should my penis look like a turkey
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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