I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
