guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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