how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize