Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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