I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
