Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
