I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
