can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
My dick has a subreddit
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
