Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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