Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
