Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize