I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm at about main and main street
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
