Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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