I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize