Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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