I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize