is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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