We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
