So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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