Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize