my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
