You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
