would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
grandma shit on top of the toilet
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize
