it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
