my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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