I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
