well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
