I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
