Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
