The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize