nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
pop tarts are not kleenex
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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