and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
