Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
