nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
