never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
