no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
