Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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