he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
