You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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