yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize