I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
