he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
