Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
