He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
