i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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