I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Randomize
