Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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